Early this morning, I was thinking about my day in the shower. I wrote an entire post in my head. I then become busy with my day. With email. With telecon after telecon after telecon. Suddenly it is 10pm, I’m tired and whatever spark of thought and excitement I had this morning has been snuffed out by the slog of the day.

I need to learn more diligence about the writing. To jot down a few notes so I can charge up the brain recall system and remember when I have the time to sit and write. Like the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, I need to always note down those random quick thoughts that can be transformed into something else later.

And on the topic of the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, know that it is my latest entertainment obsession. As I watched an episode last night, I had a moment where I really wished my grandmother was still alive.

I was thinking about how fashionable she had been in her youth and that she would have adored the costuming on the show. She would have been older than Miriam with teenagers of her own during the time period of the show. She would also have been working. Some of the suits and dresses worn by the women on the show remind me of many that she would give to me over the years. I still have one jacket and one overcoat of hers that might date back that far. Most of them were too small for me. She had tiny arms!

I am certain that if she was still alive we would have had to re-watch every episode to discuss the clothes. There is a scene in B. Altman where I wanted to turn and say to Grandma, you had that suit in a different color!

And the purses. We must have found at least 50 fancy purses in the back of her closet when we cleaned out the Brooklyn apartment. When I see the characters on the show with perfect little hand held purses that matches their outfits, I think of her.

I truly wonder what she would have thought of the words and demeanor of Miriam Maisel. I have no idea if she would have found the language of the show too controversial… but my gut is that she would have been both scandalized and entertained.

Just because I never heard her curse or speak in an “unladylike manner” doesn’t mean she didn’t.

I loved her dearly and we talked about many subjects from children to world politics. I know she adored comedy shows in general. At the end of her life, she couldn’t really enjoy anything new. She couldn’t keep track of characters and places. Her hearing and eyesight were also so far gone toward the end that she just couldn’t keep up.

In the prime of their lives, however, my grandfather and grandmother travelled the world together whenever they could save up enough. I’ll bet she would have loved to be entertained by an outrageously amusing female comic in a cabaret in Paris. She so used to enjoy when I travelled. On my return we would talk for hours about the places I’d been and the things I’d seen. I wonder if she held back on her stories.

These were the feelings that overwhelmed me last night. The fact that I wanted to ask her, had she done those things? Had she ever gone somewhere that would have been considered unreputable for a nice Jewish girl from Brooklyn? Questions I never thought to ask bounced around in my brain.

Cherish the people in your life for as long as you can. My grandmother lived 97 long years. She had a full life. It is two years since she’s left this world and I still have moments where I miss her deeply and wish I’d had her longer.

We travel through time only forwards. We leave so many moments, thoughts, and people behind us.

354 days to go

#OTR50