I spoke to both my father and father-in-law today to wish them well and ensure they knew that they were loved.
I’m a socialized american, this is what we do on this day. We wish our Fathers’ well.
But then I got to thinking a bit beyond programmed socialized norms to which I’ve grown accustomed. . . and this happened. Is it a poem, an essay, just a random post?
I don’t know. I’ll just leave it here and see. I’m leaving it in the rhythm it has.
Not a Holiday
I’m not a big fan of both Father’s Day and Mother’s Day.
I love my parents dearly. I am immensely grateful for all they have done for me.
And, while not 100% healthy, odds are that the miracles of modern medicine are likely to keep them ticking for a while yet.
Nevertheless, I am not a card-carrying, flag waving, cheering fan of these holidays we label to parenthood.
Why?
I have known many for whom these holidays are filled with sadness and loss.
I was very close to my Grandmother and I miss her terribly on Mother’s Day
I am certain it will be far worse when that day hits after my mother is gone as well
The flipside is far far far worse. If one is a parent who should be celebrating with a child that they have lost. . . I can only guess at the torture of all the well-meaning well wishes.
For people of a parenting age who are not and have never been Moms and Dads,
it can be a swirling burden of hard-to-pin-down emotions.
The gender specificity of the both holidays irks me. The force people into using binary definitions of parenthood and gendered titles and stereotypes.
Yes, I will admit that I loved getting the hand prints, ceramic creations, and carefully crafted cards from school projects when the kids were little.
However, as I’ve aged, so has my perspective.
Every day is Mother’s Day for someone.
Every day is Father’s Day for someone.
Every day one is a Parent, we want our children to appreciate our efforts.
Every day that we have any special people in our lives who served the roles of nurturing our minds, bodies, and souls. . . .
The people who stood by us in support and helped us grow into adulthood. . .
We should celebrate those people every day with love and gratitude for getting us to here, to this moment.
Every day is Parent’s Day.
267 Days to go
#OTR50
Note: the photos are mine, this prompt is only for me.
© Randi Sumner
Randi S. Sumner 